


you told me not to hold hands with the devil

by twoorangecookies



Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: F/F, Homophobic Slurs, Mentions other characters, angst pertaining to canon, canonish, ty is in it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 13:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17162531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoorangecookies/pseuds/twoorangecookies
Summary: What if Kim had Trini at her side when she fell from grace?





	you told me not to hold hands with the devil

**Author's Note:**

> Very Happy Holidays!
> 
> So I know I owe lots of updates, but this has been in my head for awhile and I finally had to write it. I basically heard this song and this came to me, so I urge you to go listen to it!
> 
> Saving Grace - Grace Carter
> 
> Warning for homophobic slurs.

_"Cause when the tears rolled down my face_  
_He turned and walked away_  
_And you held me, oh, you helped me through_  
_As tears rolled down my face_  
_He turned and walked away_  
_When he acted in bad faith_

_You told me not to hold hands with the devil_  
_You warned me that I'd lose my faith_  
_I never thought I'd leave my heaven_  
_But now I know you're my saving grace_  
_And all we've been through is giving us truth_  
_And now I can never be without you_  
_You told me not to hold hands with the devil_  
_'Cause the devil does no good"_

* * *

 

Trini Rodriguez and Kimberly Hart had been best friends since third grade, when Trini was the new girl and they both got stuck in “jail” during dodgeball. They started talking and soon didn't care about getting rescued back into the game. They both hated dodgeball anyway. Trini was the “weird new girl” and Kimberly wore thick, black rimmed glasses. It didn't help that Kimberly had ADHD and sometimes needed extra time or help on assignments, and so the other students resented and mocked her over that. They bonded over the fact that they were both outcasts.

 

Before long, they were seen everywhere together. They stuck together during recess, Trini setting a firm glare on anyone that began to come their way, and they always drifted together for partner projects in class. They had sleepovers all the time, and spent their weekends together. Kimberly always seemed to focus on her work better when Trini was in the room doing her own. Until they would start to goof off, of course.

 

But they were inseparable. They got each other in a way no one else did, and they told each other all of their secrets. They held hands when they walked places and ignored what anyone had to say about it. They were best friends, and nothing could come between them.

 

Except high school, that is. As soon as they hit high school, Kimberly seemed to need to impress people; to be people. She and Trini were no-ones up until then, and it seemed she couldn't bear to be that anymore. She tried out for cheer-leading, and with her long history of gymnastics, she easily made the team. While Kimberly worked on climbing the social ladder and becoming friends with the popular girls, Trini continued to slide under the radar. She didn't want anything to do with the cheerleaders or their crowd. They were ugly, mean people, and Trini didn't trust them. She and Kimberly had fights over it in the first several months of high school and they always ended with both girls throwing their hands up and giving up. They were both too stubborn to give at all.

 

So they did their own things. It took a couple of months for them to learn how to be close like they were while sitting on opposite sides, but they did. It was a learning curve that didn't really end. They continued to learn how to be friends in a new way. While Kimberly was laughing with her friends and talking about football, Trini was either sitting alone listening to her pounding music, or sitting with her only other friend; Billy. Trini adored Billy, and they got each other really well. Trini and Kimberly spent less time together, but they were still close. They still called each other their best friend. They texted every day, and talked on the phone whenever they could. Kimberly managed to make sure that Trini, and Billy, were off limits from harassment. It nearly cost her her standing, but once again she was stubborn. That isn't to say Trini, and Billy, didn't get picked on and called names still, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. They had protection.

 

Things continued on this way through their Sophomore year. A couple times a week Kimberly would ignore the calls of her other friends and sit with Trini and Billy at lunch. Kimberly would catch Trini in the hallway, hold her hand, and walk her to her class. She ignored the names her friends called her.

 

It was never perfect, and there were snags along the way, but their friendship continued in this way. They spent most of their weekends and summers together when Kimberly could, and they told each other that nothing would break their bond. Sure, they occasionally had fights and didn't speak to each other for days or weeks at a time, but they'd always make up. Typically by one climbing through the other's window late at night and getting into bed with them to snuggle and whisper apologies.

 

It was one such night, halfway through their Senior year, when Trini hoisted herself through Kimberly's window with the help of the tree outside. She had become a good climber from that alone; so many years of entering through Kimberly's window instead of the front door. On this night however, Trini landed softly on the tan carpet of Kimberly's bedroom and closed the window softly. She looked over her shoulder and saw Kimberly asleep in her bed, and she smiled softly, her heart pounding away.

 

There's another thing here. Trini was pretty certain, like ninty-five percent sure, that she was in love with Kimberly. She'd recognized for a long time that she liked girls, that girls were pretty and she wanted to kiss one, but it was only around the beginning of the school year that Trini realized she had a thing for her best friend.

 

They were at Homecoming, Kimberly and her stupid pout convinced Trini to go, and Kimberly had just been crowned Homecoming Queen and had her dance with her stupid boyfriend, and King, Ty. Trini had glowered the whole time. Partly because she _hated_ Ty, and partly...well, she couldn't figure that out. (Jealousy, Trini. We call it jealousy.)

 

But after Kimberly danced with Ty, she spun around, eyes darting everywhere, until she found Trini in the corner. Kimberly beamed and rushed to her best friend, Trini looking sharp in a gray pinstripe suit, and grabbed her hands.

 

“Trin, come dance with me!” Kimberly's voice was hyper and excited, and nothing Trini hadn't heard before.

 

“Uh uh, you know I don't dance,” Trini said with a shake of her head. She tried to pull her hands from Kimberly's oh-so-soft ones, but Kimberly was strong, and insistent.

 

“Come onnnn,” she bounced with her drawn out word. “This is our last ever Homecoming.”

 

“And we have plenty of dances left this year,” Trini drawled. She glanced to the dance floor then back at her best friend. “Not gonna happen.”

 

“Please?” Kimberly's dark eyes widened and she brought out The Pout. Then she did what she knew would work. “For me?”

 

Trini weighed it out. She glanced at Kimberly's face again, then sighed. “Fine. One dance. And you owe me.”

 

“Eeek! I'll owe you anything!” Kimberly said with glee as she tugged Trini towards the dance floor. Once they got there, the music changed and a slow song came on.

 

“Guess I'm safe,” Trini said, starting to go back to her dark corner.

 

“No! We can still dance.” Kimberly pulled Trini to her and put her hands on her shoulders. “Dance with me.”

 

“Oh my god,” Trini rolled her eyes, but put her hands on Kimberly's hips. “Everyone's gonna think we're gay,” she said, her heart pounding again. A weird tumble in her gut. She didn't want everyone to know her secret. They already called her dyke and lesbo, and this was just going to encourage them further.

 

“Well, it'd be half true,” Kimberly said, an upturn twist of her lips. She knew Trini questioned her sexuality, and was always supportive.

 

“Sssh,” she said, looking side to side.

 

“You shush.” Kimberly moved closer and let her arms move to wrap around Trini's neck. “This is the only time we've had to ourselves tonight.”

 

“You've been busy,” Trini said. “Like always.”

 

“I know,” Kimberly said. “I'm sorry.”

 

Trini looked up to Kimberly's face, and with the soft music, crooning about lost love, in the background she felt a burst of _something_ hit her. Kimberly was beautiful. She'd always known this, and told the other girl before, but she was hit with the full force of just how stunning Kimberly was. In her pale pink dress and crown, her long hair cascading around her shoulders; Kimberly Hart was the most beautiful girl Trini had ever seen. And more than that, Kimberly Hart made Trini's heart leap and skip with hope.

 

She gulped.

 

“Trin? You okay?” Kimberly asked, a frown on her lips.

 

“I-I...” Her heart was thudding in her chest. She swallowed again and realized she had stopped moving. That was her cue. “Gotta pee,” she said out of nowhere, and she took off out of the gym and down the hall. She ran into the girl's bathroom and into a stall, and she slammed the door shut. Her face dropped into her hands and she shook her head slowly. No, she couldn't. She couldn't have a crush on _Kimberly_. That was...that was an impossible situation. It's what she'd read on the internet not to do. Don't fall in love with your straight best friend.

 

The bathroom door opened. “Trin?”

 

Trini rolled her eyes to the ceiling and bit back a groan. “Yeah, almost done,” she called out. She flushed the unused toilet and took a deep breath, preparing herself, and exited the stall. She came face to face with Kimberly, a beautiful queen, and wondered how she had managed to breathe two seconds ago. “Sup?” She pushed out.

 

“You okay?” Kimberly looked concerned and moved closer to Trini. Trini backed up to the stall and pressed her back to the door.

 

“Fine,” she lied. “My stomach is kinda buggin' me.”

 

“Do you want me to take you home?”

 

“No. This is your dance. You should stay and have fun.”

 

“I'll just be worried about you,” Kimberly argued.

 

“I'll be fine. Probably nothing some ginger tea can't fix,” Trini said, trying to sound like she didn't care. She needed to go home, preferably without Kimberly.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah. I'll text you when I get home, okay?”

 

“Okay...” Kimberly sounded uncertain, like she had something on her mind that she didn't share.

 

Trini moved off the stall and gave Kimberly a strained smile. “Go.”

 

“Not without my hug,” Kimberly said with a pout. She opened her arms.

 

Trini sighed, shook her head, and stepped into her arms. Kimberly hugged her tightly, chin resting on her shoulder, and Trini closed her eyes. She inhaled Kimberly's scent, and it made her stomach flutter. She squeezed her best friend and let go. Kimberly held her a moment longer before letting go, too.

 

“Don't forget to text me,” Kimberly instructed. “Go home and lay down.”

 

“Yes ma'am,” Trini said with a salute.

 

“Dumbass,” Kimberly laughed, shoving Trini's shoulder lightly.

 

* * *

 

Trini bit her lip as she stared at Kimberly sleeping and recalled that dance. She'd stuffed her feelings down for half the year, and they had only grown. But it didn't stop her from being Kimberly's best friend. Even through their fights.

 

“Oh Kim,” she whispered to the silent room. She used her toes to peel out of her scruffy, faded, dirty Converse before taking off her jacket and jeans, and soon she was in just her shirt and boxers. She went around to the empty side of Kimberly's bed and got in, shivering a little, and she watched Kimberly shiver as well. She moved over and wrapped her arm around Kimberly's waist and stared down at her. Their fight had been stupid. Well, not that stupid, but it was stupid that they fought.

 

See, Trini _hated_ Ty, Kimberly's boyfriend, and she knew Kimberly didn't love him or anything, but Kimberly was stubborn. Even when Ty treated her like shit, like an accessory, Kimberly stuck up for him. Trini still didn't trust him though. She didn't trust the way he was hanging around Kimberly's other “best friend” Amanda, but Kimberly didn't want to hear anything about it, and it led to their fight. Trini was also convinced Kimberly was only with Ty because they were the It Couple. She liked her status, and it seemed to matter more than her own feelings. Trini hated it. She missed her Kimberly. The girl that didn't care about those things, the girl who spent every moment she could with Trini, the girl that Trini had feelings for.

 

“Trin?” Kimberly's voice was thick and rough with sleep, and she sounded confused. Trini sighed into Kimberly neck.

 

“I'm sorry,” she admitted.

 

Kimberly moved her hands under the blankets to find Trini's against her waist, and she covered them. “Me too.”

 

Trini smiled softly and pressed herself closer. “Sleep now?”

 

“Sleep now,” Kimberly affirmed. They snuggled together and quickly fell asleep.

 

When they awoke the next day it was Saturday so they weren't in a hurry to go anywhere. Instead, they lay tangled together in Kimberly's bed, snuggled into each other. Kimberly was on her back, and Trini was curled up against her with her head on her chest. Kimberly was stroking Trini's back slowly, and she kept her gaze on the ceiling. Trini's eyes were closed.

 

“Can we let it go now?” Kimberly asked carefully, her voice still a little husky from sleep.

 

Trini hummed and ran her fingers against Kimberly's side. She felt her friend shiver. “I don't know, Kim...”

 

“But...you said you were sorry.”

 

“Doesn't mean I like him now.”

 

Kimberly's hand stilled on Trini's back. “You don't have to like him. I just don't want to fight about it anymore.”

 

Trini was quiet for a long time, thinking it all over. Was it really worth their friendship? Nothing was worth wrecking what they had. She let out a sigh. “I just wish you'd trust me.”

 

“That's not fair,” Kimberly said sharply. “You know I do.”

 

“But not my observations.” Trini stated it as she propped herself up on Kimberly's chest to look down at her. Kimberly met her eyes, her own darting around anxiously, but always falling back to Trini's gaze. “Right...” Trini said, shaking her head.

 

“How do you think I feel?” Kimberly asked. “My best friend is constantly on me about my boyfriend.”

 

“And your boyfriend likes to tell you that your best friend is a weird dyke,” Trini reminded her bitterly.

 

“I told him to stop calling you that,” Kimberly defended. “And he hasn't since. I wish you two could just get along!”

 

“That's about as likely as me and Amanda getting along.” Trini rolled her eyes. She hated Amanda almost as much as she hated Ty. “All of those people are...rotten.”

 

“They're not.” Kimberly sat up and crossed her arms, and Trini fell off her and sat up in front of her. “Jason doesn't let them call you and Billy names.”

 

“Jason's okay,” Trini admitted reluctantly. Jason Scott was one of Them, but he had always been nice to her. He actually acknowledged her as a human being, so that was a positive. “But the rest of them...”

 

“The rest of them are my friends.”

 

“Why?” Trini asked.

 

“Because...because the are!” Kimberly waved her arms around then brought them down and clasped her hands. She shook her head. “I thought we made up. Now we're fighting again.”

 

“This isn't fighting, Princess,” Trini sighed. “And we did make up, so I'm sorry. Again.” She knew when to pick her battles, and that wasn't the time. She opened her arms. Kimberly broke into a big smile and leaned forward, wrapping her arms around Trini. They hugged and rocked and sat there for a long time. Trini tried to get her feelings under control. When they finally broke, Kimberly sat back and smiled at Trini.

 

“Pancakes?”

 

“Not if you're making them.”

 

“You are, asshole,” Kimberly shot back.

 

“Keep calling me names and I'm not gonna,” Trini said, climbing off the bed to find her pants.

 

* * *

 

 

Kimberly leaned into the old, dirty mirror in the girls' locker room and carefully applied lip gloss across her lips. She pulled back and stared at herself for a moment before running her fingers through her hair and positioning it just to her liking. She stared at herself again.

 

Some days she didn't recognize herself. Not without her hair in tangles, and her old, stupid glasses on her face. No, instead she wore contacts, covered all of her imperfections with make up, and used half a dozen beauty products to make her hair perfect. She did a lot to make herself seem perfect. Dressed a certain way, acted a certain way. She was sure her younger self would be disgusted in her current self. Especially for the way she treated other people. Sometimes when she looked in the mirror she desperately tried to see that younger self in her reflection, and she never could. The only time she felt any connection to her old self was when she was with Trini, and most of the time she wanted to forget that self anyway. Trini was the only thing that tied her to her past, but it was the one thing she would never change. Not in a million years. And sure, her friends mocked her and called Trini names – which infuriated Kim to no end – but Trini was still her “Trin” and always would be.

 

It was all worth it though. To be accepted and seen. She'd been a no one for so long, and finally she was someone. If that meant being someone else then she could do it. She slowly smiled at her reflection. There was the girl she was. Pretty, perfect, happy.

 

But was she? Happy? She didn't even know the answer to that. She wanted to say yes. She finally had the status she wanted, she had a boyfriend, and most importantly she still had Trini. She had to be happy, right? She had to be satisfied?

 

She stared at herself a beat longer. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a breath before opening them again. She smiled.

 

Of course she was happy. She had it all.

 

* * *

 

 

Kimberly walked across the football field and up to the bleachers. Ty had sent her a text asking her to meet him there after last period. She ran her fingers through the long hair hanging over her shoulder and looked around for his familiar face.

 

“Hey.”

 

She looked towards where she heard his voice and smiled when she saw him sitting there. He didn't return it. She climbed the seats and sat herself next to him, crossing her long legs. “Hey you.” She leaned in, lips puckered for a kiss, but he didn't meet it. She frowned and opened her eyes to look at him. He looked unhappy. She immediately tried to remember if she'd done something wrong, but nothing came to her.

 

“What's going on?” She asked.

 

“Kim, we need to talk,” he said. Kimberly's heart sunk into her stomach.

 

“About what?”

 

“This isn't easy to say...” He ran his fingers through his hair and stared out at the football field.

 

She wasn't sure she wanted to hear whatever he had to say. She licked her lips and stared at his profile. “Just say it.”

 

“I want to break up,” he said. He still stared out at the field.

 

“B-break up? Why?” Her brows furrowed and she tried hard to keep her tears at bay. Was he worth crying over? Probably not. But who was she without him?

 

“I'm just...not feeling it anymore,” he said evasively.

 

“What the hell does that mean?” She asked, letting out a half-laugh.

 

“I'm sorry.” He finally looked at her, and he had a perfect apologetic look on his face. “I am. We had fun.”

 

“We had _fun_? We were together for three years, Ty! Now all the sudden you're 'not feeling it'? Are you serious?” Her tone had gotten angry, and she was. He had no reason to break up with her!

 

“I gotta go,” he said as he stood. His hands slid into the pockets of his blue jeans and he looked down at her. “I hope we can still be friends.”

 

“Right,” she snorted. She looked down at her feet, glared at them really, and clenched her fists. She didn't have anything else to say to him at that moment. She just wanted him to go.

 

He must have understood that, because after standing there a beat longer he turned and walked away. Kimberly brought her head up and watched him go, across the field and towards the parking lot, and she let a tear slip down her cheeks. Her phone started to buzz in her pocket and she ignored it. Until it stopped and started again. With a huff she yanked her phone out and looked at the screen. It was Trini.

 

God, she needed Trini.

 

“Trin?” She said into the phone upon answering it.

 

“Yo, thought we were meetin' up,” Trini said in immediate response.

 

Kimberly closed her eyes. She'd forgotten she was supposed to meet Trini by her car after school. “Sorry. I got...um, held up.”

 

“...is something wrong? Something's wrong.”

 

“No, I, uh...I mean, yeah...yeah, Ty just...he broke up with me, Trin.” Her voice cracked at the end in Trini's name, and she swallowed the lump in her throat.

 

“That fuck-wad,” Trini hissed. Kimberly let out a snort. “Where are you?”

 

“The football field,” Kimberly answered, wiping her face. “But I'll come meet you. I wanna get out of here.”

 

“Okay. I'm here. I'll wait for you, Princess.”

 

“Thanks,” Kimberly said in relief. She ended the call and got to her feet, and she began the walk towards the parking lot. She stared at her feet the whole way, still running through all the things she could have done wrong. What could she have done to make Ty lose interest? What hadn't she done to keep him? She'd had lousy sex with him, for one. He always seemed to think it was great, always patted himself on the back, but it never was for her. Three years and she'd still only ever had an orgasm by her own work. She shook her head. There had to have been something.

 

“There you are,” Trini greeted her immediately. “C'mon, let's get out of here.”

 

Kimberly moved towards Trini needing a hug, but Trini grasped her elbow to turn her away. “What?” She asked.

 

“Let's go.” Trini sounded serious, and kind of urgent. Her eyes were darting around.

 

“Why? What's going on? Trin, just...hug me, dammit.”

 

“No, we gotta go.”

 

“Why?” Kimberly pulled from Trini's grasp and spun to face her. “What's going on?” She followed Trini's gaze around the parking lot, and she suddenly noticed lots of people staring at her. Some of them were laughing and pointing. “What's happening?” Did everyone know? Already? Sure, word spread fast at Angel Grove, but that fast?

 

“Head cheerleader can't keep her man,” someone Kimberly didn't know said as they passed.

 

Kimberly's eyes narrowed. “Trini.”

 

“In the car.”

 

“Fine.” Both girls got in the car, Kimberly in the driver's seat, and when the doors closed she looked to her best friend. “We're in the car. Go.”

 

Trini let out a long sigh and looked out her window for a moment before turning to angle her body towards Kimberly. She grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “Ty just met Amanda in the middle of the parking lot and kissed her. Then they got in his car and left. Everyone saw.”

 

“Oh god.” Kimberly's eyes widened and she looked around, unable to settle her gaze in any one place. “Oh god.”

 

“Don't worry about them. They're not worth it.”

 

“What will everyone think?”

 

“That doesn't matter either.”

 

“What do you mean it doesn't matter?! Of course it matters!” Kimberly yanked her hand away. “Shit! Trini!”

 

“It doesn't, Kim! Nothing anyone here thinks or says matters. Fucking Ty and his ugly ass pal Amanda definitely don't matter. You're better off without him.”

 

“You don't get it. You just...don't get it.” Kimberly shook her head and shoved her keys in the ignition. She didn't want to be in that place any longer. Not with people still staring at her. She started the car and waited for Trini to buckle up before tearing out of the parking lot. She ignored Trini's protests that she slow down and powered her way to Trini's house, her brakes squealing as she stopped. She didn't say anything, she just waited for Trini to get out.

 

“So it's gonna be like that?” Trini asked. She waited for a moment for a response, but when it was clear she wasn't going to get one she got out. “Fine. See you tomorrow.” She slammed the door shut and walked up the drive to her house, and Kimberly drove away.

 

* * *

 

 

Trini stood on her front stoop and watched Kimberly drive away. Her teeth were clenched and her fists were balled. She didn't know what to do with that girl sometimes. Where had she gone? How had she gotten so far away that she needed scum like that to feel validated?

 

She stomped up to her room and slammed the door shut, ignoring her mother calling after her, and she flopped on her bed. She closed her eyes for a moment just to breathe. After several deep, calming breaths she pulled out her phone and called Kimberly. She held the phone to her ear and listened to it ring and ring. When she got voicemail she called again. And again. Kimberly wasn't answering.

 

“Dammit, Kim,” she huffed. She sent off a series of texts next.

 

_where r u?_

_r u ok?_

_don't be mad at me. I was just trying to help._

_u don't need him._

_why don't you see how beautiful and perfect you are?_

 

She deleted the last one.

 

She pulled out her social media to see if Kimberly had posted anything, but she was silent. Instead she saw posts of classmates dissing Kimberly and making fun of her. Trini rolled her eyes and exited out. She hated that. She hated her school and all of the lowly people in it.

 

Mostly she hated Ty. She hated his stupid face and stupid self. She hated that he made Kimberly feel the way he had. How did he not see that he had the best girl at Angel Grove High? Probably the best girl in the entire world. The girl Trini desperately wanted.

 

But it wasn't about how she felt. It was about Kimberly. Kimberly was upset, and Trini needed to see her. To talk to her.

 

She got up and fixed the beanie on her head before climbing out her window and running down the block. She soon slowed to a walk and tried calling Kimberly again. Then she texted her again.

 

_pls tell me where u r_

_Kim please_

 

She walked to Kimberly's house, just blocks from her own, and didn't see Kimberly's car in the driveway. She went and knocked on the door, called Kimberly's name, but no one answered.

 

“Where are you?” She muttered. She turned and looked at the woods nearby, and she took off towards them. She knew Kimberly liked to walk the trails, and she knew Kimberly liked to dive off the cliffs further in. Maybe she had parked on the other side of the mines.

 

Trini walked into the woods and along the trails. The sun set around her and she cursed herself for not bringing either a jacket or a flashlight. She made her way to what she knew was Kimberly's favorite spot, and she squinted her eyes as she looked around.

 

“Kim?” She called out. “Kim, it's me.”

 

Then she saw a dark figure sitting close to the cliff's edge. Relief washed over her. She would know that outline anywhere. She rushed over and fell to her knees beside Kimberly, who was sitting with her knees drawn to her chest and arms wrapped around her legs. She was crying.

 

“Kim. God. You worried me.” Trini reached out and put a hand on Kimberly's back, and immediately Kimberly fell into her and continued to sob. Trini wrapped her other arm around her friend and closed her eyes. “It's okay,” she soothed. “It's gonna be okay.” She closed her eyes and prayed for it to be true. Prayed that everyone would soon forget all about Ty and Kimberly and move on. Let Kimberly move on.

 

After a long while of crying and Trini whispering comforting words in her ear, Kimberly sat up and wiped her face. “Trin...”

 

“Hey,” Trini said, offering a half smirk.

 

Kimberly looked at Trini with wide, fearful eyes. “I did something.”

 

Trini frowned and shifted so she was sitting instead of on her knees. “What?”

 

“Something really, really bad.”

 

“Kim...it can't be that bad. What is it?” Trini took one of Kimberly's hands in her own and squeezed it. She wasn't sure Kimberly could ever do anything truly bad. Nothing that Trini would never forgive her for.

 

Kimberly reached into her pocket for her phone with her free hand and pulled something up. She held it out for Trini to see. A text. And a picture. Sent to Ty. Trini immediately looked away from the phone and the risque picture of Amanda Clarke with the accompanying text.

 

_Is this the girl you want to take home to your mom?_

 

“Tell me you didn't actually send that to him,” Trini intoned. She knew all about the picture that Amanda had sent Kimberly for her approval, but she had never actually seen it. It wasn't exactly something she wanted to see.

 

“I...I was just so mad...” Kimberly said, her voice nearly in awe at herself. “All I could think about was...hurting them. Hurting him.”

 

“Fuck, Kim.” Trini shook her head. She didn't want to be disappointed in Kimberly, not ever, but she was. A little.

 

“I'm...I'm terrible...” Kimberly said in that same whisper.

 

Was Trini supposed to agree or tell her it wasn't so bad? She didn't even know. “It was a really bad idea.” Was what she settled on.

 

“He cheated on me...didn't he? With my...one of my best friends?”

 

Trini winced. “I think so.”

 

“Then...he doesn't deserve to just be happy after it all, does he?” Kimberly looked at Trini with a tear-streaked face, begging for an answer.

 

“No. He doesn't,” Trini replied honestly. But that? Did he...did Amanda deserve that? “But...she trusted you with that photo.”

 

“And I trusted her not to steal my boyfriend.”

 

“He was a shitty boyfriend!” Trini didn't mean to yell, it just came out.

 

“...I know,” Kimberly said, looking away. She bit her lip and stared out across the cliff, and Trini stared at her. Trini ran it all through her head trying to find a reason that Kimberly's actions had been right, but despite her hatred for Amanda she just couldn't.

 

“You have to apologize.”

 

“I'm not apologizing to her,” Kimberly said with bite in her tone.

 

“You think she's gonna let it go? You think they'll ignore it?”

 

“I don't care.” Kimberly's voice lacked any emotion, and it hit Trini like icy daggers. She reached out and brushed her fingers through Kimberly's hair, tucking it behind her ear.

 

“Let's get you home, okay? You're shivering.”

 

“...they hurt me first.”

 

“I know, Princess. I know. Come on.” Trini got to her feet and tried to tug Kimberly up. Kimberly went reluctantly. She wouldn't meet Trini's gaze. Trini let that go and took Kimberly's hand and led her down the trails.

 

They walked silently, Kimberly sniffling from time to time, and soon they arrived at Kimberly's house. It was empty and dark, and Trini took Kimberly's keys to let them in. She led Kimberly up the stairs and into her bedroom where she found clothes for Kimberly to change into and left her to change herself in the bathroom. When she came out again she found Kimberly sitting on the bed in her pajamas, staring blankly at the wall. Trini shook her head. “Okay, Princess. Get in bed.”

 

Kimberly did as she was told and curled up into a ball. Trini stared at her for a moment, longing to make it all go away with a flick of her wrist, before turning off the lights and getting into bed with her. She moved behind Kimberly and wrapped herself around her.

 

“Get some sleep,” she whispered, holding Kimberly tight. She closed her own eyes and began to pray that school would be okay the next day. That Kimberly would be okay. She had a bad feeling they were only at the beginning though.

 

* * *

 

A week later, a horrible, hellish week later, Kimberly stood once more in front of the mirror in the girls' locker room. Tears stained her reddened face, and she couldn't look away from her reflection. For a week she hadn't been able to look at it, for a week she had been hating herself worse than ever, but she finally stopped to look. And it hurt. She hated the face staring back at her. She hated who she had become and the things that she had done out of spite and anger. She hated that her perfectly constructed world had toppled down and crashed at her feet. She'd had everything, and just like that she had lost everything.

 

She had Trini's voice in her head telling her that everything would be okay in time, but for the first time ever she didn't believe her best friend. How could it be? She had done a terrible, reckless thing, and it ruined everything. Even if it was all _their_ fault to begin with.

 

Another tear fell down her face and she closed her eyes. She could still feel that feeling she had felt when she sent the picture. Satisfaction. Glee. Not an ounce of regret.

 

Then she could hear him telling her those words.

 

_You're the meanest person I've ever met._

 

Maybe it was true. She was, wasn't she?

 

She could feel the sting of punching him so hard that his tooth fell out.

 

But they put it back, so it wasn't that bad, was it?

 

And she could see Amanda's father, and the heartbreak on his face. The disappointment in his gaze when he looked at her.

 

She _was_ the meanest person ever. Nothing Trini could say would make her think otherwise.

 

She opened her eyes again and made herself stare at her face. Her imperfect, pathetic face. How good it had felt for that brief moment when she thought Amanda was forgiving her. Like everything would go back to normal and be okay. She'd be okay. But it wasn't, and she wasn't. They laughed in her face. Kicked her off the team and laughed in her face.

 

Her eyes strayed to the scissors that pinned the torn photo to the wall and disgust rolled through her. She looked in the mirror again. She had perfected herself and her looks, and it hadn't been enough. The only redeeming quality she still had, the one thing still reminding her of everything she'd had, was her hair. She fingered it slowly and glanced at the scissors again.

 

In an instant she tore the scissors down and started hacking away at her long locks. She didn't want them anymore. She didn't need them mocking her anymore. She cut them all off, letting them fall into the sink below, and stared at herself once more.

 

A new girl stared back at her. A girl that didn't have to be perfect, that didn't need the boy or the status or any of it. A girl who cared fuck all about it all. She popped out her contacts and tossed them into the nearby trashcan before digging her glasses case from her bag and sliding the dark frames over her face.

 

And she saw herself. An image she hadn't seen in a very long time. The corners of her lips lifted.

 

“Hi,” she greeted softly. There she was, in all of her imperfect ways.

 

* * *

 

 

The following weeks weren't easy. In fact, they were hell. Kimberly was called names, her locked was repeatedly marked by graffiti with those same names, and her fellow classmates either ignored her or taunted her. And it got worse for Trini, too. Trini, who only ever wanted to stay under the radar. She was bullied for staying friends with Kimberly, and her own locker was marked in worse names. Slurs. Kimberly knew that Trini was trying to pretend it didn't bother her, for Kim's sake, but it clearly did. And Kim hated that. She blamed herself for that, along with everything else, and it added to the fuel of hating herself.

 

She went back and forth between a confident, give-no-fucks attitude, and wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing. She tried to never let _them_ see that part though. But all of it still got to her. She couldn't count the times she had hidden in the bathroom to cry, or cried in Trini's arms in one of their bedrooms at the end of the day.

 

And Trini, bless her, Trini tried so hard to make Kimberly see that she wasn't all of those terrible things. She told Kimberly time and again that doing something terrible didn't make you a terrible person, but Kimberly just couldn't see it that way. All she saw was what she had done, and wonder what she could have done better to be better. To not have lost Ty and set off that chain of events.

 

Trini must have been sick of hearing Kimberly talk that way, because one afternoon in Kimberly's bedroom, she went off.

 

“Jesus, Kim! Get a grip!” She jumped to her feet, surprising Kimberly and halting her tears. “You are not a bad person! How many times do I have to tell you?!”

 

“You're just saying that cause you're my best friend.”

 

“So what?! That means, as your best friend, I know better than anyone who you are!”

 

“Even better than me?” Kimberly's eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms.

 

“Clearly!” Trini's hands shot up in the air.

 

“Then if you know me so well, why didn't you stop me?!”

 

“I tried! You didn't want to be around me! And I tried warning you about Ty, but you didn't listen!”

 

“Then maybe instead you should have told me how to keep it from happening!”

 

“What does that mean?” Trini asked, hands on her hips.

 

“Like! I don't know! Told me to get my hair done! Or send him my own risque pic.” Kimberly moved back on the bed and crossed her legs. She was pouting. She knew she was being unreasonable, but Trini was too!

 

“What...?” Trini shook her head and sat back down, staring at Kimberly in shock. “What are you talking about?”

 

“I wasn't enough!” Kimberly shouted. She exhaled and her body deflated. “I wasn't enough, Trin. That's why he went to Amanda.”

 

“No. No, he went to Amanda because he's a gross dude who couldn't keep it in his pants,” Trini said with venom. She reached out and put a hand on Kimberly's knee. “You _were_ enough, he just didn't see.”

 

“I wasn't,” Kimberly argued. “I tried. I tried to dress the right way and act the right way...but it wasn't enough.”

 

“Kim...” Trini moved up on her knees in front of Kimberly and ran her fingers through her short hair. “There's no way you weren't enough. _He_ was the problem. Not you. You don't even...see.” She shook her head.

 

Kimberly felt her heart pound for some reason and she stared up at Trini. “See what?”

 

“You don't need your makeup or contacts or-or your hair-,” Trini ran her fingers through Kimberly's short locks again and wrapped her hand around the back of Kimberly's neck, staring deep into her eyes. “You don't _need_ any of that, Kim. You're amazing just like this. You're beautiful just like this. Do you believe me?”

 

Kimberly's eyes glistened with tears and she stared back into Trini's gaze. She wanted to nod, to believe the only person who would never do her wrong, but she couldn't. She couldn't see reason and couldn't see herself through Trini's eyes. So she softly shook her head, and a couple tears broke and rolled down her face. Trini wiped them away, and she looked heartbroken as she rested their foreheads together. “I'm sorry,” Kimberly whispered. Her heart clenched tightly. She felt like she was letting Trini down, and she hated it.

 

“Don't be sorry, Princess,” Trini whispered, and her words and breath hit Kimberly's lips, and Kimberly's breath hitched.

 

She loved hearing Trini call her that. She always had. This time though, it tore through her body and bounced across every organ that could possibly pound or shake. There was something different about this time. She felt something different. Something brand new.

 

She wanted to kiss Trini.

 

Kimberly wanted to kiss Trini in that moment, and she had no idea where it came from. Sure, their friendship had always been close and intimate, but kissing? That crossed a line. Didn't it?

 

She was sure it would feel nice. Trini had soft, pouty lips, and she didn't have any stubble or gross cologne. In fact, Trini smelled amazing. She didn't wear a perfume or scented lotion, and the scent Kimberly inhaled was pure _Trini_. The way Trini had always smelled. A smell that calmed her no matter what was happening. She breathed in deeply and let it out. Trini was still close to her, still holding the back of her neck, still playing with the bits of hair there.

 

Trini. Trini who was always there for her, who had been there for her in recent weeks when her life felt like hell. Trini who was her rock, her guardian, and her best friend. Kimberly loved Trini, and she had since the day they met, but she hadn't ever imagined this. Not with Trini or any other girl. But Trini wasn't any other girl. Trini was the best girl. _Her_ best girl. Hers. Trini was hers.

 

“Kim, are you-”

 

“Sshh,” Kimberly hushed. She brought her hand up and cupped Trini's cheek, and as she brushed her thumb across it gently, she found herself amazed at how soft Trini's skin was. And she was amazed at how strong the urge – no, the need – to kiss that beautiful girl was. She pulled back slightly so she could look at Trini, really _see_ her, and she was also amazed at how utterly stunning her best friend truly was. The kind of beauty Kimberly always longed for; effortless and sure. Kim didn't find herself beautiful, even at Trini's insistence. She had a weird nose and her stupid beauty mark, and really her hair had been her one gorgeous quality. And she had done away with it. But Trini? Trini was breathtaking. It literally took Kimberly's breath away, and she gulped down air trying to reclaim it. Trini's brows furrowed with concern, and she opened her lips to speak again, but Kimberly shook her head. She didn't need Trini to speak. She needed Trini to kiss her.

 

And Kim was reckless and impulsive on her best day, so without any further thought on what may happen, she closed the small amount of space between them and pressed her lips to Trini's. Right away she felt and heard Trini whimper, and Trini's hand tightened on Kimberly's neck, and that urged Kimberly on to deepen the kiss. She ran her tongue against those lips and shuddered when she felt Trini's tongue find her own. Then Kimberly was tasting Trini's mouth. She was running her tongue along the roof of it, along the back of Trini's teeth, and Trini moaned which only made Kimberly moan. The sound, and the feel of Trini's kiss, sent shock waves through Kimberly's body and straight between her legs. She got bold, even bold for Kimberly, and started to push Trini back on the bed.

 

But Trini's hand came up against Kimberly's chest and she pushed her back. She withdrew from the kiss. Kimberly frowned and sat back, looking at Trini. They were both panting for breath.

 

“What?” Kimberly asked.

 

Trini wiped her lips with her thumb, and she looked so hot in doing so that Kimberly wanted to kiss her again. “What are you doing?” Trini asked thickly.

 

“I-I don't know...” Kimberly admitted.

 

“Yeah...thought so.” Trini looked down.

 

“But I want to.”

 

“To experiment?” Trini raised a brow, and her features suddenly looked cold.

 

“No!” Kimberly reached out and placed her hands on Trini's knees. “Because...because you get me. You always have. And...and you're gorgeous...and I think I'm not entirely straight.” It felt odd, but saying that had been easy, and she didn't feel any shame. Her heart only pounded faster the more she spoke. “I think...” Her face screwed up in thought. “I think I've...always wanted to do that, and didn't realize it til now.”

 

“You mean until everyone else hates you and I'm the last one standing?” Trini pulled away and got to her feet. Kimberly was confused. She didn't understand why Trini seemed to be mad at her.

 

“No!” She swung her legs around to place her feet on the floor and stare up at her best friend. “I mean, well, yeah, that's what's happening now, but it's not because of that! I swear!”

 

Trini had her arms crossed tightly over her chest and she was closing in on herself. Kimberly knew all the signs well. Trini paced slowly and kept her eyes off of Kimberly. “So I'm supposed to believe that all the sudden you're into girls?”

 

“I'm...kinda trying to understand that, too,” Kimberly said. She twisted her fingers together in her lap. “I didn't mean to upset you,” she said softly. “That's the last thing I ever want. But that kiss...Trini, you felt that, right? That wasn't some experiment or-or mistake...that was...”

 

“Amazing,” Trini whispered.

 

“Yeah. Amazing.” Kimberly took a breath before getting to her feet and standing in Trini's way to stop her. She reached out to hold her arms and stared down at her, but Trini still wouldn't look at her. She knew not to force it. “I wanted to kiss you, T. And I wanna do it again.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you're Trini, and...because I've never felt that way kissing anyone else.”

 

Trini slowly dragged her gaze up to meet Kimberly's eyes, and in it Kimberly saw fear and disbelief wrapped into a kind, golden brown. “Neither have I,” Trini replied quietly.

 

“So kiss me again,” Kimberly pleaded.

 

“This could fuck up everything.”

 

“Or...it could _be_ everything.”

 

“We could hurt each other.”

 

“We always come back from it,” Kimberly assured her.

 

“How are you so sure about this?”

 

“The same way I've always been sure about you.”

 

“Don't break my heart, Kim,” was Trini's soft plea.

 

“Kiss me,” Kimberly whispered.

 

“I mean it,” Trini said. “I've...I've dreamt about this, and-and I won't be able to take it if you-”

 

Kimberly silenced her with their second kiss. Trini's hands moved to cup Kimberly's face. The kiss was slow and deep, and Kimberly wrapped her arms around Trini's waist and pulled her tight to her own body. Both sighed into the kiss at the feel of their bodies pressed close. They kissed until they had to break for air, and Kimberly rested their foreheads together again as they breathed hot air against each others lips.

 

“Damn, we're good at that,” Kimberly whispered. Trini chuckled and shook her head, but didn't move.

 

“This is crazy, Hart,” Trini said.

 

“I know, but it's right....right?”

 

“I hope so.”

 

“Trin?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Thank you,” Kim said, adoringly.

 

“For what?”

 

“Being my number one.”

 

“Always, Princess.”

 


End file.
